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Dear MSDW Representative:
I hate President Clinton! If you let President Clinton speak before your group, I am going to take all my clothes off and make you look! I swear I will! I mean it! I'm not fooling around! You'd better not mess with me!
Sincerely,
A Deranged Freeper
Thank you for your e-mail message.
I fully understand why you are elated that former President Clinton spoke at
one of our conferences.
We understand how thrilled you must be with our wise decision to have our last legitimately ELECTED President speak. First, our firm unanimously voted to have him as our guest speaker. And second, we are sensitive to the strong feelings of our clients about Mr. Clinton's successful two terms as one of our nation's greatest Presidents and economic saviors.
In the past, we have heard from Presidents Reagan and Bush at our conferences (unfortunately they were so boring they put most of our attendees to sleep), as well as other public figures across a broad political spectrum, and we have paid them speaking fees similar to what we paid Mr. Clinton, even though they didn't deserve to be paid at all. But in this case, we didn't have to think twice before the speaking invitation was extended. We know all those accusations were bold-faced lies regarding Mr. Clinton's actions in leaving the White House anyway.
Again, thank you for sharing your comments with us.
Sincerely,
Mindless Machine of MSDW
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Dear MSDW Representative:
I am writing to let you know that I support your decision to invite President Clinton to speak before your group. I am a supporter of President Clinton's, and feel your invitation to him, particularly in light of his excellent economic track record while in office, reflects sound judgment that speaks well of your firm.
Sincerely,
A Rational Human Being
Thank you for your e-mail message.
I fully understand why you are upset that President Clinton spoke at one of our conferences. We clearly made a mistake. First, the decision did not receive the proper review within the firm. We often schedule high-profile newsworthy events far in advance without giving them the proper review. And second, we should have been far more sensitive to the strong feelings of our clients about President Clinton. Normally, we are very adept at pandering to the rantings of the well-heeled, but we obviously failed to properly humor them in this instance. We should have thought twice about the utter hypocrisy of our wealthy clients before the speaking invitation was extended.
Again, thank you for sharing your comments with us.
Sincerely,
Mindless Machine of MSDW
NEXT: ROBERT C. ON BANANA REPUBLIC DIET
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