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(to the tune "What a Wonderful World" by Sam Cooke)
VERSION I
Don't know much about history.
Don't know much philosophy.
Don't know much about the "Founding" guys,
If I did, I'd have to tell some lies.
But I do know if you're Hindu,
America was not made for you,
So I'll call it a theocracy.
Don't know much about history.
The Salem Witch Trials are okay with me.
When it comes to burning at the stake,
It's one good way to avoid the fiery lake.
But if Wicca is the craft you do,
America was not made for you,
So I'll call it a theocracy.
I never claimed to be open-minded,
But I don't have to be.
As long as Senators suck-up to ex-colleagues,
You'll all have to live like me.
Don't know much about the Constitution.
Don't know much freedom of religion.
The First Amendment just gets in my way.
Not enforcing it will make my day.
But if Islam's practiced by a few,
America was not made for you,
So I'll call it a theocracy.
(BRIDGE)
But if my god isn't your god, too
America was not made for you,
So I'll call it a theocracy.
VERSION II
Don't know much about the holocaust.
Don't really know how many Jews were lost.
They came to this country to be free.
But they don't worship the same King as me.
And I do know if you're a Jew,
America was not made for you,
So I'll call it a theocracy.
Don't know much about Torquemada.
Was that a ship in the Spanish Armada?
Don't know why we can't all be the same.
This diversity is just a shame.
So if the Buddha is your guru,
America was not made for you,
And I'll call it a theocracy
I never claimed to be so inclusive,
But I don't have to be.
As long as Senators suck-up to ex-colleagues,
You'll all have to live like me.
Don't know much about the Civil War.
Don't know what we really fought it for.
Don't know much about Civil Rights.
I never had a dog in those fights.
So if white ain't your natural hue,
We never fought that war for folks like you,
Or to make sure that you could be free.
(BRIDGE)
So if my views aren't your views, too.
America was not made for you,
As long as I'm Dubya's A.G.
BBBR ON ASHCROFT:
POLITICAL STUNNER: ASHCROFT DEMANDS DEFEAT
P.O.T.U.S. POSSE GIVES ASHCROFT A DRUBBING
DIVA SAYS, "CUT ASHCROFT LOOSE, FOOTLOOSE"
OPEN LETTER: ALAN HALE ON ASHCROFT & NORTON
NEXT: THE QUOTABLE GEORGE W. BUSH
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