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   BUSH BROTHERS BANANA REPUBLIC RESISTANCE, NEWS, HUMOR AND COMMENTARY

REPORTS FROM THE FRONT
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 7

"THE INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF FRUITCAKES"
CHARLTON HESTON "INTERVIEW"
(With Format on Loan from Rush Limbaugh*)

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*Except for the fact that, unlike Fat-Ass, I am putting the disclaimer right up front, in normal type, where you can actually see it.  The right wing dishes it out; can they take it? 

DISCLAIMER:  All Charlton Heston's words are taken from his speech at the Free Congress Foundation's 20th Anniversary Gala, December 7, 1997, which is on the public record.  The Diva's comments have been added to create this simulated "interview."

HESTON ON TODAY'S WHITE HOUSE SHOOTING

Diva:  Do you consider it a troubling sign that an armed man apparently fired shots near the White House today?  Troubling at all?

Heston:  Triumph belongs to those who arm themselves with pride in who they are and then do the right thing. Not the most expedient thing, not the politically correct thing, not what'll sell, but the right thing.

Diva:  Huh?  Are you saying it was alright for this guy to maybe take a shot at Bush?  Why?  Do you question Bush's legitimacy as so many others do?

Heston:  Well, I ran for office, I was elected…

Diva:  And you are admitting that Bush was not elected, but selected?

Heston:  You, and I, President Clinton, even Ice-T, we all know.

Diva:  Wait a minute, wait a minute… That still doesn't justify violence…

Heston:  Your pride in who you are, and what you believe, has been ridiculed, ransacked, plundered. It may be a war without bullet or bloodshed, but with just as much liberty lost: You and your country are less free.

Diva:  Yes, I understand that, but I still know violence is morally wrong!

Heston:  Your opinion is less enlightened…

Diva:  Hey!  That's out of line!

Heston:  You need to wake up, wise up and learn a little something about your new America.

Diva:  I am both awake and wise, Chuck, and killing is wrong!

Heston:  You have been assaulted and robbed of the courage of your convictions.

Diva:  Like hell I have!  And this is not about me.  This is about the shooter… What would you say to him if he were sitting here?

Heston:  Mainstream America is depending on you--counting on you--to draw your sword and fight for them.

Diva:  Get out of here!  You're kidding, right?  You don't really believe that…

Heston:  How many of you considered... but then thought better of it?

Diva:  EXACTLY.  'Thought BETTER of it.'  THOUGHTBETTER.

Heston:  Everybody already knows what the right thing is.

Diva:  And that would be…?

Heston:  I say it's time to pull the plug.

Diva:  That's crazy talk, Moses!

Heston:  You say wait a minute, you take a long look in the mirror, then into the eyes of your kids, your grandchildren, and you'll know what's right.

Diva:  How can you say something so inflammatory, at a time like this?

Heston:  You don't see many other Hollywood luminaries speaking out on this one, do you? It's not because there aren't any. It's because they can't afford the heat.

Diva:  And you think you're better for coming out and spewing this stuff?

Heston:  And I'm an example of what a lonely undertaking that can be.

Diva:  You are lonely because no one agrees with you!

Heston:  They dare not speak up for fear of CNN or the IRS or SAG or the ATF or NBC…

Diva:  What you are talking about is assassination.  You DO realize that?

Heston:  Yes, we can have rules and still have rebels--that's democracy.

Diva:  And THAT is the kind of message you want to send to the shooter?

Heston:  Do not yield, do not divide, do not call a truce.

Diva:  I don't know how you sleep at night…

Heston:  It's easy.

GUN CONTROL STATEMENT SIGNED BY HESTON
BEFORE HE BECAME PRESIDENT OF
"THE INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF FRUITCAKES"
NEXT:  DON'T STOP THINKING...

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