SHRINE AUDITORIUM (coup2k.com) -- The Oral Majority awards George W. Bush the un-coveted "Best Actor" award.

George W. Bush, in a move that stunned many today, took a brief foray from stealing elections and destroying the American Dream of freedom, fair elections, peace, prosperity and the pursuit of happiness, to attend the First Annual Academy Awards of the Academy of Political Evil and Scalia-Style Stealing, APE-ASS.

Bush was nominated for his performance in "Laissez-les Manger des Résidus" (USA original version: "Let them Eat Sh*t), a boffo performance that had wowed international critics, primarily in "States of Concern" (formerly known as "Rogue Nations") Cuba, Iran, Iraq, Libya, North Korea, Sudan, and Syria.

"Unbelievable!  Remarkable performance!  It spoke to me!  Bravo!"
- Saddam Hussein

"I so identified with George W. Bush's performance!  I was touched!"
- Moammar Gadhafi

"His performance brought back so many fond memories of my youth!"
-Fidel Castro

"I felt Mr. Bush held back just a tad in playing this role.  It was very poignant."
- Usamah Bin-Laden

Also nominated for their roles in "Laissez-les Manger des Résidus" were co-stars Antonin Scalia, Clarence Thomas, William H. Rehnquist, James Baker,  Tom Feeney, and Jeb Bush.  The Bush Brothers were tied as odds-on favorites for the award.  Shut-outs for the nomination included Anthony Kennedy, Marc Racicot, Bob Dole, and George Herbert Walker Bush.

Upon hearing his name announced, Mr. Bush rushed to the stage, tripping on the hem of his beautiful reproduction gown, reminiscent of Marie Antionette, and clearly worn in homage to the film's title.

In the briefest of acceptance speeches, Mr. Bush gushed with enthusiasm.

"I can't believe it!  I are so happy!  I finally won something fair-and-square!  This is a first-est for me!  Thanks, Bro!  Thanks, Dad!  Thanks, Tony!" 

Also receiving statuettes today were Katherine Harris, for Best Performance by an Actress (Ms. Harris was still in make-up, and missed the ceremony), the Miami-Dade rent-a-mob, for Best Performance by Supporting Actors (The mob was unable to attend the ceremony due to its important work in Congressional Offices on Capitol Hill), and Co-winners Laura and Barbara Bush, who received the Best Supporting Actresses Award, for their bus tour assuring American Women that their husband and son, respectively, would not restrict the right of choice.

Jeb and George Herbert Walker Bush, both nominated and neither of whom received an award, refused comment to the press, but were clearly angry about being passed over for the statuette.