LONG BEACH (coup2k.com) April 24, 2001 -- Today's 5-4 ruling by the Extreme Court of the United States -- which declared constitutional the cuffing, confining, and photographing of Americans stopped for routine traffic matters -- shakes up the American adult entertainment industry, its clientele and suppliers.
INDUSTRY IN TURMOIL
"How am I supposed to make a living?" asked Dominatrix Malificentia, one of the many American sex professionals whose core clientele pays handsomely for the privilege of submitting to gratuitous humiliations. "Submissives pay my bills. Now, all they have to do to get cuffed, confined, and humiliated is stop wearing their seatbelts! For the $50 seatbelt fine, they even get photographed! Do you know how much I charge for all that?"
Malificentia is one of many American adult entertainers who feel their financial futures have been threatened by today's 5-4 decision. Angered by what they see as the High Court's "horning-in [no pun intended] on their Dominance & Bondage territory," Malificentia says that many sex workers believe they will now have to up the ante on the "kink" factor.
"Who's going to buy the cow for $150 per hour, if they can get the milk for $50? I mean, come on. It's just common sense."
The dominatrix, who does not engage in sexual intercourse with her clients, feels today's ruling will create a need for sex professionals to expand their repertoire. "If police are going to have the absolute right to hit all the basics of our tricks of the trade, we are going to have to be a little more 'out there' to stay competitive. I am hoping that adult entertainment technology can keep pace with the Extreme Court and their rulings. If not, we're sunk."
Manslave Jonathan, one of Malificentia's 'regulars', admits that he is intrigued by the possibilities merely neglecting to wear a seatbelt now provides. "Just think of it," he rhapsodized. "Some lovely, butch Policeman, decked out in all his Officer regalia, sees that I am not wearing a seatbelt. He pulls me over. Forcefully yanks me out of my car. Makes me assume the position. Cuffs me. Throws me in the backseat of his shiny police cruiser... I can just see our eyes meeting in the rearview mirror! It's a fantasy come true!" When the fact that his mugshot would then be taken before being put in a confinement cell is mentioned, Jonathan urgently asks Malificentia for permission to excuse himself; permission she haughtily grants, before sending him off with an open-handed slap on the rump.
Malificentia does not view the ruling through the prism of fantasy. As a professional, rather than a devotee, she expressed genuine concern about the ruling's lack of any provision for safe words. "In my business, before you get down to business, you always provide the submissive with a 'safe word', a word that they can use at any time to stop the game. I've scanned the SCOTUS ruling, and I saw no mention of this standard and time-honored safety practice. I fear that this is going to lead to more incidents like the Diallo tragedy. In the past, perhaps a citizen could use 'I'll sue!' as a safe word, but not anymore. Not after this ruling. It's troubling."
Malificentia, who has often refused the patronage of police officers, said she doubted they would be as loving with their charges as she is with hers. "My job is to give pleasure," she explained, "so I am always watching my customer for any signs that the game has gone too far. I don't have any interest in genuinely harming anyone. I worry that police officers don't have the same affection for submissives in their control. I worry that many police officers will abuse this power."
ANGER AMONG THE CLERKS
Clerks for Extreme Court members who came down on opposite sides of today's ruling, already engaged in a 'cold war' over the Bush v. Gore decision, have escalated their rhetoric and sniping. An unnamed source in Antonin Scalia's office confirmed the Marquis de Scalia was furious that both females on the bench dissented. "He said, 'those dried up old hags are just frigid fraidy-cats'," the source reported, "and that they ought to get off their high horses and have a little fun with the absolute power we've seized."
The clerks reported that the Federalist Society court members -- particularly Chief Injustice Rehnquist, Scalia, and his protégé Injustice Thomas -- are growing impatient with the prudence and caution of the 'stickler minority', as they call them. "My boss just can't understand why the moderate Justices don't feel as emboldened after the Bush v. Gore decision as he does," said an unnamed Rehnquist clerk. "The American people hardly made a peep when the Court killed democratic elections, so it's obvious the Court can now get away with anything. Why don't these moderate Justices want to take that that absolute power out for a spin? I just don't get it."
CORPORATE SUPPLIERS JUBILANT
Today's civil rights decision was an unqualified success among corporate executives in the restraint industry, who see it as an excellent marketing opportunity. "The Supreme Court has put police kinky back on the map," said Ed Schultz, President and CEO of Connecticut-based Smith & Wesson. "After more than 80 years of marketing our restraints in an admittedly dull fashion, we are planning our first Signature Series. We will be modifying our Classic Model 100 and 1800 restraints to bear the SCOTUS emblem."ALSO TODAY: HOW DOES IT HAPPEN? By Tally Briggs
"This is a product placement coup," said Schultz. "You can't buy this kind of publicity, or this kind of high profile panache."
ALSO: ACTION ALERT: GORE IN SPRINGFIELD, MA