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Pope Diva I
6/30/01 4:05 PM
FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Edit this post Reply to this message

Continued from
and inspired by
***tylerslady thread***
posted earlier today

{{{POPE DIVA I APOLOGIZES TO TYLERS LADY}}}

Visual provocation courtesy of
Dris 27's signature picture

{{{POPE DIVA I WINKS AT DRIS27}}}


Crime Victims Aerosmith Announce Tour Name Change
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Story Filed: Saturday, June 30, 2001 4:00 PM EST

BOSTON (Pope Diva I) - With all of its tour wardrobe missing and presumed snatched, Aerosmith has never been more naked, and their fans have never been happier.

While younger bands continue to layer on the fashions, Steven Tyler, lead singer of Aerosmith (The Greatest Rock and Roll Band in American History), says he and his bandmates are taking their new status as crime victims in stride.

"Our fans want us to look our best. It's not always easy to understand why they do the crazy things they do, but after all these years, we've learned to deal with it."

"This is obviously what the fans (at least one of them) wants," Tyler went on to say, "Aerosmith au naturalle. I, for one, am up for it."

Joe Perry, one of Aerosmith's two guitar gods, didn't have a lot to say about the recent theft, commenting only, "I really liked my red shirt. She could have at least left me the red shirt, right?"

Aerosmith's management company has been in the midst of a mad scramble to change the lettering on tour merchandise, replacing "Aerosmith: Back on the Grass Tour" to "Aerosmith: Look at Our A** Tour," after an apparently over-zealous fan made off with the band's entire wardrobe earlier this week.

"We should have seen this coming a mile away," one security professional, who insisted on speaking off-the-record, said. "The boys have been going out into the audience to move the show to the lawn stage and back each night, and I've watched the fans. They're not just trying to 'touch' the guys, they're trying to STRIP them!"

"One thing I hope we all maintain," said bassist Tom Hamilton of his bandmates, "is our willingness to be naked when we go into a concert situation."

"Do you know anyone who doesn't like skin?" asked drummer Joey Kramer, not giving this reporter time to respond. "Me, either. Our fans do."

Aerosmith guitarist Brad Whitford weighed in on the question of motive, saying, "Everybody wants to name the tour. It becomes this kind of a challenge. Somebody took up the challenge, is all."

--30--




Zork
6/30/01 4:08 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

ROFLMAO

Thats the best one yet.




Pope Diva I
6/30/01 4:17 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Edit this post Reply to this message

Thank you, Oh Great Moderator!

The Diva loves praise from high places.

:)



Tammy, a.k.a. "Pope Diva I"
Pope-ette and High Priestess of
The Temple of Aerosmithicism


tylerslady
6/30/01 4:21 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

Diva, this deserves it's own post, if I had known, I would have added the updated here!






Pope Diva I
6/30/01 4:25 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Edit this post Reply to this message

You still can, Tyler's Lady!

LOL!



Tammy, a.k.a. "Pope Diva I"
Pope-ette and High Priestess of
The Temple of Aerosmithicism


tylerslady
6/30/01 4:26 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

Re: Joe's Red Shirt

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DIVA - YOU ROCK WOMAN! roflmao, laughed so hard I cried! I especially liked the line from Mr. Perry "I really liked my red shirt. She could have at least left me one, right?"

UPDATE:

Boston, Newbury Street, by tylerslady:

A new store is opening soon, filled with all types of Aerogear. Including the elusive RED SHIRT.

While thousands of fans flock to the Aerosmith "Look at our A** Tour" shows, those in the know have been hitting the highly anticipated grand opening of the Pope Diva's new apparel shop. While not officially open yet, the word has spread thoughout the globe faster than Joe Perry's famous guitar licks. Fans from as far away as Japan have been hanging out in front of this new boutique hoping for just one wiff of the ultra cool "Previously Worn Aerowear"

Aerosmith could not be caught to comment, seems they're still running away from the women gone mad!



(thought I should move this here)




Zork
6/30/01 4:32 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

The Boston police issued a statement that they had no idea where all of Aerosmiths cloths had gone. But we're not concerned at the nudity in the Aero concerts.

"After all" said the chief of police "Steven still has his scarves and the guitars just about hide Joe, Brads and Toms crown jewels. We understand Joey is having a problem as he he also lost one of his drumsticks in the raid. I hear he's improvising but dont know what with."




pinkangel25
6/30/01 4:34 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

I must have front row for this show!! LOl
That is a great story- send it to the book for Aerosmith!! I bet they would love it.




tylerslady
6/30/01 4:41 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

Update 6/30/01 4:44 p.m. est, tylerslady:

Fans that were at the Mansfield shows interviewed today commented repeatedly "Now we know what Steven meant when he told us to imagine what Joey was like in bed." One fan went on to comment "We thought it was about the way he plays the drums, not the WAY he plays the drums"

This author is a little confused by that comment, did she mean WHAT he plays the drums with? I suppose we'll never know for sure.

Meanwhile, I'm still trying to reach members of Aerosmith for comment, but it seems they're still running away from rabid female Aero-fans. Other reports we're doubtful of the success of this tour but the "Look at our A** Tour" has proven to be Aerosmith's best run to date!




Pope Diva I
6/30/01 5:04 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Edit this post Reply to this message

This is just too funny!

You guys are great!



Tammy, a.k.a. "Pope Diva I"
Pope-ette and High Priestess of
The Temple of Aerosmithicism


who'sjoef'nperry
6/30/01 5:09 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

Diva, I shall say it again... YOU ARE THE SHIT!!!!
Was it better this time or the first? Hehe.

- Sex is like a gun. You aim. You shoot. You run.


love them lips
6/30/01 5:23 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

Diva, girl you are on a roll today!!! LMFAO again:)


"moist, that's a good word, I love that word"


love them lips
6/30/01 5:26 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

BREAKING NEWS........

The red shirt was just spotted on South Street in Philly, being worn by a street performer, who, oddly enough, was playing Bright Light Fright......


"moist, that's a good word, I love that word"


aeromomma
6/30/01 5:40 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

you guys are hilarious!!!!!!




Pope Diva I
6/30/01 5:50 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Edit this post Reply to this message

Please see:
RANSOM NOTE RELEASED

The authorities need your help...



Tammy, a.k.a. "Pope Diva I"
Pope-ette and High Priestess of
The Temple of Aerosmithicism


Mad About Aero
6/30/01 5:58 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

ROTFLMAO!!!!
: ) : ) : )






Pope Diva I
6/30/01 6:06 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Edit this post Reply to this message

I'm starting to think I might know who snatched the clothes...



Tammy, a.k.a. "Pope Diva I"
Pope-ette and High Priestess of
The Temple of Aerosmithicism


jimmy2jazzy
6/30/01 6:18 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

ROTFLMAO!!!!

This is gettin 2 good.

"Then she whipped out her gun
And tried to blow me away!!!"


love them lips
6/30/01 7:30 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

Oh Diva, I'm laughing so hard I'm gonna pee!!!


"moist, that's a good word, I love that word"


Joe'sAngel
6/30/01 7:40 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

I lauged, I cryed, I peed my pants. j/k. Diva your the greatest.keep it comming

"Remember the light at the end of the tunnel... may be you ~ Goodnight"


Sight4SoreEyes
6/30/01 7:41 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

Look At Our Ass Tour!!!

I really must get front row now!!!

You're cracking me up!!!






Pope Diva I
6/30/01 7:49 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Edit this post Reply to this message

***BREAKING NEWS***BREAKING NEWS***BREAKING NEWS***

Authorities in Tense Standoff on Newbury Street
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Story Filed: Saturday, June 30, 2001 7:45 PM EST

BOSTON (Pope Diva I) -- After receiving several anonymous tips from members of sonymusic.com's Aerosmith board about the recent Aerosmith-related crime-spree sweeping the nation, authorities have surrounded a new boutique on Boston's now-very-fashionable Newbury Street.

A ransom note, released by authorities earlier today in an attempt to secure leads in the Aerosmith Wardrobe Theft Case, led police to suspect that the perpetrator might be involved with a new shop in the area: "America's Greatest Rock and Roll Contra-Band: An Aero-Boutique."

The boutique, which was slated to open on Monday and had drawn a large international crowd of rockers and lusty females, is owned by person or persons unknown. Police reconnaissance of the store seems to indicate that it is inhabited by one lone female, sitting on a massive pile of clothing, wearing nothing but a silky red men's shirt and a three-mile smile.

After initial attempts to contact the woman hold up inside via telephone failed due to the very high volume of the Aerosmith music pouring from the store, Boston Police sent DC Detective Joe Landrewski to attempt to negotiate with the obviously unhinged female.

Det. Landrewski approached the front window of the store, pulling his service revolver from its holster, and laid it slowly on the ground in plain sight, in an obvious attempt to secure the suspect's trust.

"I'm not armed, Miss," he called out.

"No, but you're CLOTHED!" the woman shot back.

Det. Landrewski, who has extensive experience with women on the edge, attmpted to soothe the suspect, asking, "Can I come inside so we can talk about this?"

"You sure can," the suspect yelled back, "just as soon as you show me you're not hiding a wire under those clothes!"

This unexpected demand elicited a strong crowd reaction. A good number of the women looking on offered to assist Det. Landrewski in providing the necessary assurances to the suspect inside the boutique.

The standoff continues.

Stay tuned, as this is a breaking story...

--30--



Tammy, a.k.a. "Pope Diva I"
Pope-ette and High Priestess of
The Temple of Aerosmithicism


Dris27
6/30/01 7:57 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

Oh my goodness! HELP Diva!!! I'm laughing so hard I can't breathe!!! LOL!!!


There's that red shirt again!


Pope Diva I
6/30/01 8:46 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Edit this post Reply to this message

***BREAKING NEWS***BREAKING NEWS***BREAKING NEWS***

Authorities Unable to Clear Newbury Street
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Story Filed: Saturday, June 30, 2001 8:45 PM EST

BOSTON (Pope Diva I) -- Breaking news in the Aerosmith Wardrobe Theft Case...

Crowd control has become an issue in the standoff outside "America's Greatest Rock and Roll Contra-Band: An Aero-Boutique" on Newbury Street. Police had attempted to push back the crowd of lookers-on, after the suspect hold up inside the store demanded that any negotiations with authorities be conducted "in the buff." Their effort was met with strong resistance by a large contingent of women in the group.

"We're not leaving until he takes it all off," one woman shouted. Others immediately joined in, screaming, "Hell, no, we won't go," "No nudity, no peace!," and "We won't move back!"

What began as random shouting soon became an organized chant:

"If she can see, so can we!
If she can see, so can we!
If she can see, so can we!"

Detective Joe Landrewski of the DC police, a dedicated crime-fighter with a long and distinguished service record, attempted to avoid any outbreak of violence, and to soothe the angry mob.

"You can stay, okay! Just shut up, already! Jesus!" he hollered irritably.

A resounding cheer went up from the crowd that is reported to have been heard as far away as Baltimore, Maryland.

Turning back towards the window of the store, Det. Landrewski shook his head, and muttered under his breath, "This is just f***ing nuts!"

"I heard that!" the female suspect inside the boutique groused. "Are you going to start, or shall I call the ladies back? Oh, Ladies..."

Holding up his hands in an exaggerated gesture of defeat, Det. Landrewski answered the suspect's challenge. "No, no. I think I can handle this myself, thank you very much!"

"Nice god**** shirt, by the way!" he boomed, obviously referring to Joe Perry's red silk shirt, which the suspect was allegedly wearing.

Another cheer went up from the crowd at this last exchange.

Det. Landrewski removed his black leather jacket, and threw it towards the Chief of Police, who was squatting down behind the open door of a police cruiser, calling out, "This is some town you've got here, Chief -- especially the women!"

"They're not all from here!" the Chief of Police answered in his city's defense. "You should see the highways! They're backed up for miles and miles. This is getting to be worse than Woodstock!"

"Quit stalling, and stop the chit-chat," the suspect inside the store demanded, holding up a pair of scissors, "or I start slashing!"

This escalation in rhetoric between authorities and the suspect quieted the crowd, and seemed to hasten Detective Landrewski's compliance with the alleged theif's demands.

The drama is still unfolding.

Stay tuned, as this is a breaking story...

--30--



Tammy, a.k.a. "Pope Diva I"
Pope-ette and High Priestess of
The Temple of Aerosmithicism


Dris27
6/30/01 8:51 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

OH HELP ME!!! LMAO!!!


There's that red shirt again!


love them lips
6/30/01 8:54 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

I think I just peed my pants Diva!!!!


"moist, that's a good word, I love that word"


Pope Diva I
6/30/01 8:56 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Edit this post Reply to this message

This is what you get, Dris, for insisting on keeping that sig pic. I told you it was driving me crazy! Now it's driven me to a life of crime!

I hope you're satisfied!

LOL!



Tammy, a.k.a. "Pope Diva I"
Pope-ette and High Priestess of
The Temple of Aerosmithicism


Dris27
6/30/01 8:58 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

If I get a laugh like this everyday, then so be it, Diva! LOL!!!


There's that red shirt again!


Pope Diva I
6/30/01 8:59 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Edit this post Reply to this message

Lips, you'd better take off those pants then, hadn't you?



Tammy, a.k.a. "Pope Diva I"
Pope-ette and High Priestess of
The Temple of Aerosmithicism


Pope Diva I
6/30/01 9:04 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Edit this post Reply to this message




Pope Diva I
6/30/01 9:07 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Edit this post Reply to this message




Dris27
6/30/01 9:09 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

Oh, I'm sorry to hear about that Diva! Love ya, girl!


There's that red shirt again!


Pope Diva I
6/30/01 9:15 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Edit this post Reply to this message




Dris27
6/30/01 9:19 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

Aw Diva, that was awesome! You kick ass, girl!!!


There's that red shirt again!


perrychick
6/30/01 10:00 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

DIVA!!!! You are SO FUNNY!!!! I love this!!! I am getting such a clear visual of this!!! It is F**kin hilarious!!!


"I thought I knew me much better"





Pope Diva I
6/30/01 10:07 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Edit this post Reply to this message

***BREAKING NEWS***BREAKING NEWS***BREAKING NEWS***

STANDOFF: Sundown, and Still No Resolution in Sight
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Story Filed: Saturday, June 30, 2001 10:00 PM EST

BOSTON (Pope Diva I) -- The sun has now set in Boston, and the demands from the alleged Aerosmith Wardrobe thief hold up at "America's Greatest Rock and Roll Contra-Band: An Aero-Boutique" on Newbury Street are becoming more bizarre.

After insisting that DC Detective Joe Landrewski -- who was attempting to convince the oddly un-distraught woman to release Aerosmith's clothing -- must remove HIS clothes before entering the boutique to engage in one-on-one negotiations, the woman inexplicably demanded that he stop disrobing.

"Wait a minute! Wait a minute! STOP!" she shouted at him from her position, reclining atop a huge pile of rock regalia and holding a dainty pair of high-power binoculars to her eyes. "We need lights!"

"What the hell?" Det. Landrewski asked, pulling his hands away from the top of his black v-neck shirt.

"Don't you even THINK of making another move until they get some spotlights down here, dammit!" she screeched.

At this point, the suspect began to shout towards the line of police cruisers just east of the store, "Send for the Aerosmith lighting crew! You don't want to mess with me, Coppers. DO IT!"

For reasons this reporter can only speculate about, the females in the crowd, which had seemed so eager for the detective to remove his garments only moments before, now appeared to be in agreement with the suspect that the striptease should be delayed, pending the arrival of additional lighting.

The mob began to shout:

"Bright Light Sight!
Bright Light Sight!
Bright Light Sight!"

Given little choice, considering the volatile nature of the lookers-on, the authorities have acquiesced to this latest demand from the suspected thief and have sent for the Aerosmith lighting crew, which is currently traveling with the band on their "Aerosmith: Look At Our A**" Tour.

We are unable to confirm whether or not the crew has agreed to assist the authorities, and if so, when they are expected to arrive on the scene.

The drama is still unfolding.

Stay tuned, as this is a breaking story...

--30--



Tammy, a.k.a. "Pope Diva I"
Pope-ette and High Priestess of
The Temple of Aerosmithicism


Dris27
6/30/01 10:25 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

Diva, this is too much! I'm dying here! ROTFLMAO!!!!


There's that red shirt again!


Pope Diva I
6/30/01 10:25 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Edit this post Reply to this message

BUMP FOR THE EVENING...

Tammy, a.k.a. "Pope Diva I"
Pope-ette and High Priestess of
The Temple of Aerosmithicism


Pope Diva I
6/30/01 10:29 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Edit this post Reply to this message

Dris, you make me feel like a goddess!

You should get a writing credit for having that damned siggie pic, though -- it inspires The Diva!

;)

Tammy, a.k.a. "Pope Diva I"
Pope-ette and High Priestess of
The Temple of Aerosmithicism


love them lips
6/30/01 10:30 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

LMAO Diva....hubby just did:)


"moist, that's a good word, I love that word"


Dris27
6/30/01 10:33 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

Well, I'm glad it inspires you!!! LOL!

Here it is again...


There's that red shirt again!


tylerslady
7/1/01 02:01 AM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

======BREAKING NEWS=======BREAKING NEWS===========

Outside of Boston 1:57 a.m est, tylerslady reporting. After an evening of chasing down the members of Aerosmith, this reporter is almost too tired to type!!! Rabid female fans have chased these 5 Rock Gods since the beginning of the "Look at our A** Tour" without a moment's rest! Brad Whitford wants it known that "from our first gig it's been the same thing time and time again, the fans have only wanted to see our butts! This tour we've decided to give the fans what they rightfully deserve!"

Mr. Tom Hamilton, always the philospher of the group went on to add "You know, if someone didn't have the guts to steal all of our clothes, this would have never happened. We've always had an adoring fan base, but this tour has really proven that we have so much more to give our fans."

While Joey Kramer sat in the corner with an ice pack in his lap concurred, he had little to say except "When will I ever get my drum stick back?"

Mr. Joe Perry was more hopeful, he informed this reporter that Detective Joe Landrewski from the DC Police was hot on the trail of the wicked thief, "All I want is on of my RED SHIRTs back." As I was about to leave, in walks the one and only Steven Tyler, buck naked and grinning his only quote was "Now they know what it takes!"

This is tylerlady from just outside of Boston, I will, as always, keep you informed!




Pope Diva I
7/1/01 05:31 AM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Edit this post Reply to this message

Aerosmith (Accompanied by Slash) and Lighting Crew Arrive at Scene of Standoff;
Shocking New Development Involving "Aerosmith Lust Posse"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Story Filed: Sunday, July 1, 2001 5:30 AM EST

BOSTON (Pope Diva I) - After playing a raise-the-rafters concert in Pittsburgh earlier Saturday evening, in which they were joined onstage by Slash -- formerly of Guns 'n Roses -- for their final number, "Train Kept a Rollin';" Aerosmith, Slash and lighting crew arrived at Boston's Newbury Street to lend their assistance to local authorities involved in a standoff with the alleged perpetrator of the Aerosmith Wardrobe Theft.

The members of America's Greatest Rock and Roll Band and those accompanying them arrived late on the scene, due to a traffic snarl that now stretches across the United States, Canada, and most of Mexico.

The less-than-thirty-mile drive from their private runway at Boston Logan Airport to Newbury Street took the band several hours to complete.

"It's like a giant One Way Street out there," commented Aerosmith's driver. "I've never seen anything like it! Every lane of traffic, as far as the eye can see, all full of people headed this way!" Aerosmith's jet pilot confirmed the driver's assertion. "From the air, it looks like an ant farm down there," he said in amazement, "and it looks like all the ants are in a big damned hurry to get to the same place!"

The crowd of lookers-on, which had now grown into the hundreds of thousands, and was primarily made up of women, cheered the arrival of Aerosmith's caravan, particularly the band's private car, and the massive lighting rig, which arrived on the scene lashed to the back of an 18-wheeler.

At the arrival of the line of vehicles, the mostly-female crowd, showing no signs of fatigue after today's long standoff, began to shout,
"Lighting Guys and Naked Gods!"
"Lighting Guys and Naked Gods!"
"Lighting Guys and Naked Gods!"

As the lighting crew climbed out of their auto, the mob went wild. After a brief private discussion between the head of the lighting crew and Boston's Chief of Police, the crew began setting up near DC Detective Joe Landrewski, who was sitting on the sidewalk outside the boutique smoking a cigar, glowering at the suspect inside the boutique, and looking increasingly disgruntled.

"This is just f***ing nuts!" he reiterated, blowing a plume of smoke into the night sky. "I say we wait her out. It's almost sun-up, and she's gotta sleep sometime!"

"No she doesn't!" screamed one onlooker, later identified as Dris27. "I know who she is, and she NEVER sleeps. She's up all hours! My 'siggie pic' sees to that!"

This reporter cannot explain the meaning of the last remark, but would venture to guess that it's some "internet thing."

A group of women, all standing with Dris27 and all wearing Aerosmith shirts bearing their sonymusic.com Aero-board names -- AeroChick14, PerryChick, LoveThemLips, Pockets, StevensCuttie, aeromomma, SWOO, Pandora'sKey, Sight4SoreEyes, AeroHessa, amazin'cajun, Tyler's Girl, aero pink babe, taste of india, dreaminragdoll, tomsangel, and a host of others -- broke into laughter at the inside e-joke. Clearly, they had information the authorities might need to successfully end this standoff, but they seemed unwilling to divulge what they knew.

This new development, that some of the onlookers might indeed know the indentity of the alleged thief, caused a flurry of activity among authorities. The Chief of Police approached the group, asking who spoke for them.

After a brief huddle, the women asked roving freelance reporter tylersangel, who had been traveling with the fast-moving and much-chased Aerosmith all day, to communicate with the Chief.

"They are willing to divulge the identity of the suspect, but they have demands of their own," tylersangel reported.

"AW, COME ON!" the Cheif shouted. "I'll throw you all in the slammer for obstruction of justice if you don't stop playing games! I'll charge you all as accessories to the Aerosmith Wardrobe Theft!"

"I'm a reporter," tylersangel replied, without missing a beat. "My first amendment rights are absolute. I am not required to divulge to you any information these ladies may or may not have given me." She then turned back to the group of Aero-board devotees, giving a covert wink, which this reporter believes was not seen by the Chief.

Apparently, one standoff has now become two, as the will of the "Aerosmith Lust Posse" (as they call themselves) is pitted against that of Boston's Chief of Police.

The drama is unfolding.

Please stay tuned, as this is a breaking story...

--30--




Pope Diva I
7/1/01 07:02 AM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Edit this post Reply to this message

***BREAKING NEWS***BREAKING NEWS***BREAKING NEWS***

MEDIA BLACKOUT IN STANDOFF!!!!
Posse and Suspect Hold Up Inside Boutique
With Aerosmith, Slash, and Landrewski
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Story Filed: Sunday, July 1, 2001 6:53 AM EST

BOSTON (Pope Diva I) -- In a turn of events no one could have expected, Boston Police have completely lost control of the situation at "America's Greatest Rock and Roll Contra-Band: An Aero-Boutique" on Newbury Street.

Off-the-record negotiations between tylersangel, freelance reporter and liaison for "The Aerosmith Lust Posse" and Boston's Chief of Police were being conducted early this morning, when the members of Aerosmith (absent Joe Perry, but with the addition of Slash, former guitarist of the rock band Guns 'n Roses), suddenly exited their automobile, and waded into the fray.

None of the band members were clothed, and in an apparent show of solidarity, Slash was nude as well.

En masse, the five moved quickly between tylersangel and Boston's Chief of Police, separating them. Steven Tyler, speaking rapidly and with a wicked smile playing about his famous lips, seemed to convince the Chief that the situation was well under control -- as evidenced by the fact that the Chief walked casually back to his police cruiser, and did not put its open door between himself and the storefront, as he had done previously.

Tyler then turned to tylersangel, and spoke briefly to her.

This reporter was unable to hear what was said, but tylersangel's mouth dropped open. She then turned to the Aerosmith Lust Posse (who had been straining to hear what exactly was being said) and walked toward them in an apparent daze.

DC Detective Joe Landrewski seemed extremely concerned about the rapidly deteriorating situation. He threw down his cigar, and turned away from the boutique's window to witness these unexpected events.

As soon as tylersangel began to speak to the Posse, the door of the "Contra-Band" boutique flew open. The suspect, squealing in a decidedly non-criminal fashion (and accompanied by an unidentified Borderlester Ewe who was squealing as well), grabbed Detective Landrewski by the arm, throwing him off balance. He began to tumble through the open door into the boutique, as the suspect shouted "Now!"

What happened next is difficult for this reporter to adequately describe.

In what seemed a well-choreographed "play," the Aerosmith Lust Posse and their media liaison lifted the five musicians off the ground, and rushed them through the door of the store, quickly followed by the ewe. The red-headed suspect, clothed only in the previously-reported red silk shirt, saluted the Chief of Police, laughed mockingly, and pulled the store's door shut behind her. The distinct sound of a lock being engaged was followed by the snap of the window blinds falling unceremoniously down, and the sound of feminine giggles and masculine laughter.

No one in the Boston Police Department is commenting. Do they still regard this as a "crime scene?"

The lighting crew seems unconcerned, and appears to be taking a union break.

The sun is coming up in Boston, and the drama is now unfolding behind closed doors.

Please stay tuned, as this may still be a breaking story...

--30--



Tammy, a.k.a. "Pope Diva I"
Pope-ette and High Priestess of
The Temple of Aerosmithicism


Pope Diva I
7/1/01 07:11 AM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Edit this post Reply to this message

BUMP
(I am, and the Aerosmith Posse certainly is!)

LOL!



Tammy, a.k.a. "Pope Diva I"
Pope-ette and High Priestess of
The Temple of Aerosmithicism


tylerslady
7/1/01 08:48 AM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

***BREAKING NEWS***BREAKING NEWS***BREAKING NEWS***

UPDATE: NEWBURY STREET, BOSTON, by tylerslady

After spending several hours alone with Mr. Steven Tyler, this reporter has the responsibility of letting the public know just what Mr. Tyler had to say in my presence. I might add that there was very little talking going on during this intense "interview" while we were closeted away in a remote dressing room of the "America's Greatest Rock and Roll Contra-Band: An Aero-Boutique."

I asked Mr. Tyler how he felt about the theft of the band's entire wardrobe, he looked at me and smiled, then thought a minute. "We've wanted to always give our fans everything we've got, every time we perform. With the 'Look at our A** Tour,' that's exactly what we've done. At this point in time, I'm not concerned about the wardrobe," Mr. Tyler continued "all we want is one of Joe's RED SHIRTs back. We'll do anything we can to make sure that happens."

Just exactly why Joe Perry is so attached to the RED SHIRT, this reporter is unsure. I can only add ladies, that spending the evening closeted away with Mr. Tyler has opened my eyes! At least now I know the meaning behind a lot of Aerosmith's most popular songs. Mr. Tyler, you are the Voodoo Medicine Man!

And just what has happened to the DC Detective, Joe Landrewski? Is he still negotiating with the thief wearing nothing but that RED SHIRT?




love them lips
7/1/01 10:20 AM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

This is great!!!The Posse has the boyz all the themselves...what could be better:)


"moist, that's a good word, I love that word"


Zork
7/1/01 10:27 AM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

Just had this emailed to me. Looks like Mona was caught on camera during the posse's aero capture.




Zork
7/1/01 10:30 AM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

I'll try again



Theyre gonna bleep it anyway


perrychick
7/1/01 10:31 AM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

Ha ha ha!! This is terrific!! You guys are killin' me!!! I like the idea of the Aerosmith Luste Posse locked up in a store with naked Aerosmith... DROOL.....


"I thought I knew me much better"





Zork
7/1/01 10:37 AM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

No sign has been seen of any of the band this morning, but a rather off colour ewe was seen heading out for a graze. This reporter does not believe the rumours that the sheep ate Joes red shirt. If the sheep looks like this what chance have our boys got with the posse?



Theyre gonna bleep it anyway


love them lips
7/1/01 10:39 AM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

LOL Zork. And the Lust Posse rides on!!!!! "We are the Posse the mighty mighty Posse, everywhere we go peopple want to know, who we are, so we tell them....WE ARE THE POSSE....THE AEROSMITH LUST POSSE.....membership has it's privileges:)


"moist, that's a good word, I love that word"


aeromomma
7/1/01 11:08 AM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

well, i must say, i think everyone has out done themselves this time....i laughed my aero-a** off reading this post!!!!!!!

with love to all of the aerosmith lust posse....

aeromomma
:)




Dris27
7/1/01 1:04 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

ROTFLMFAO!!! I LOVE IT!!! What more can I say? Keep up the good work, Diva and the rest of the Posse! This has really made my morning--er, afternoon!

Here's some more inspiration...


There's that red shirt again!


tylerslady
7/1/01 5:29 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

News Update:
Newbury St, Boston 5:27 p.m. by tylerslady

Things seemed to have quieted down for most of today at the soon to open Aero-Boutique. The Band members, accompanied by Slash (former Guns N Roses guitarist) and Detective Joe Landrewski of the DC Police have been holed up inside with members of the Lust Posse, as well as this reporter and the wicked red headed clothes thief. It appears negotiations have been underway for most of the day, but no resolution has been reached. This could be a lengthy negotiation. From what I can tell, there doesn't seem to be much talking going on at all!

The throngs of women outside have been chanting and holding up candles showing thier solidarity with those locked inside with the Band, Slash and the Dectective.

"GO LUST POSSE"
"GO LUST POSSE"
"GO LUST POSSE"

This reporter smiles at the others chant. Thanking them for their overwhelming generosity and patience. I can honestly say if I was locked out of the boutique, I probably would be pushing my way inside, rioting until I was successful.

The elusive ewe appears to be recovering slightly from earlier reports, just her significance in this bizarre situation continues to leave this reporter baffled. Unconcerned I return to the remote dressing room where Mr. Tyler awaits.

New reports will be issued as soon as possible.




Pope Diva I
7/1/01 7:44 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Edit this post Reply to this message

The Diva ain't talkin'!

My mama told me never to talk with my mouth full!

KOTFSJPO!!!!



Tammy, a.k.a. "Pope Diva I"
Pope-ette and High Priestess of
The Temple of Aerosmithicism


perrychick
7/1/01 7:59 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

Ooooh, Diva, THAT picture of Joe again!!! DROOOOOOOL!! Just sitting here watching SNL from last night (red shirt alert) ha ha!!! Love this story!!! Ya'll are so funny!!! *Sigh* If only it could come true....


"I thought I knew me much better"





Dris27
7/1/01 8:02 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

LOL perrychick...I know exactly what you mean! Until now, dream on!


There's that red shirt again!


Pope Diva I
7/1/01 8:11 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Edit this post Reply to this message

Do ya'll think we are completely insane?

I mean, is this NORMAL?

LOL!

;)

http://www.coup2k.com/joepaper/verysmall.jpg[/image]

Tammy, a.k.a. "Pope Diva I"
Pope-ette and High Priestess of
The Temple of Aerosmithicism


Pope Diva I
7/1/01 8:12 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Edit this post Reply to this message

Do ya'll think we are completely insane?

I mean, is this NORMAL?

LOL!

;)



Tammy, a.k.a. "Pope Diva I"
Pope-ette and High Priestess of
The Temple of Aerosmithicism


tylerslady
7/1/01 8:19 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

ABOSOLUTELY NORMAL Diva! as a side bar, my daughter was with me thursday nite at the concert, she sometimes rolls her eyes at my aero-obsession, but after the show she told me that she was glad I was at least a Normal Obsessed Fan...wonder what she meant by that?

Wonder too what the mysterious Dectective is up to things have been extremely quiet at the Aero-boutiqe today....humm




Pope Diva I
7/1/01 8:28 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Edit this post Reply to this message

Oh, I think the members of the Aerosmith Lust Posse will be more than happy to tell us their stories, once they're done and rested up!

ROTFLMFAO!!!!!



Tammy, a.k.a. "Pope Diva I"
Pope-ette and High Priestess of
The Temple of Aerosmithicism


Dris27
7/1/01 8:31 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

I HOPE this is normal...if not, then I think I need to go seek some professional help!

Of course, this picture can make you go crazy...


There's that red shirt again!


tylerslady
7/1/01 8:35 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

Dris, maybe you should check out the article regarding the Aero-Cult? Diva strikes again!




Dris27
7/1/01 8:40 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

Already saw it tylerslady! What a riot!!! LOL! Hey are you ladies going to chat with us tonight??? Hope to see y'all there!!!


There's that red shirt again!


Pope Diva I
7/2/01 04:40 AM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Edit this post Reply to this message

BUMP FOR BACK-TO-WORK-PC-PEOPLE

:)


HELP! I'M BEING FRAMED!
SEND ALAN DERSHOWITZ!


Tammy, a.k.a. "Pope Diva I"
Pope-ette and High Priestess of
The Temple of Aerosmithicism


tylerslady
7/2/01 6:33 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

Dateline Newbury Street, Boston, MA, by tylerslady

It's now 6:30 p.m. Monday evening, and things have been extraordinarily quite here that the "America's Greatest Rock and Roll Contra-Band, And Aero-Boutique" for the past 24 hours. Seems that horrendous thunderstorms, power outages and the unsatiable Lust Posse have kept the members of Aerosmith (Mr. Tyler, Mr. Perry, Mr. Kramer, Mr. Whitford and Mr. Hamilton) as will as Slash (former guitarist from the group Guns N Roses) and Det. Joe Landrewski (of the DC Police Dept) out of public view. This reporter is a little concerned that these extensive negotiations may have a negative affect on the Band's "Look at our A** Tour", but I have gotten repeated reassurance from the group, that all is well and the TOUR will go on!

Mr. Kramer has finally disposed of the ice pack, however he has asked me to plea his case. "I can't continue to work this way, with only one drumstick and well, you know. I really need my drumstick back." This reporter has certain deja vu from an old Simpsons episode. Hum, again, I'm left perplexed.

From what I've been able to ascertain, the lost sheep, MONA, is alive and well, and hasn't been eaten yet!!! I'm sure this is great news for the ASPCA!

As far as the RED SHIRT (Mr. Perry's favorite item of clothing) I'm not certain. Perhaps the other reporter (Pope Diva, pulitzer prizer winner) will be able to fill us in on it's whereabouts and the condition of Det. Landrewski as I understand that she has been in the middle of that negotiation.

In the meantime, Mr. Tyler awaits my return in our remote dressing room, which by the way we have dubbed "The Voodoo Medicine Room."

This is tylerslady with the latest from the "Aero-Boutique" please stay informed.






tylerslady
7/2/01 7:13 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

Just outside of Boston, a Break in the Case!!!!
(tylerslady)

After extensive investigation, I discovered the following bit of information, seems someone is feigning innocence:

"The Diva has absconded with the much-vaunted red shirt... and the ENTIRE AERO-WARDROBE for the 2001 World Tour... in a desperate attempt to be taken into custody by Detective Joe Landrewski, DC Police.

So far, no luck, darnit!

LOL!"

Looks like a confession to me? And what about MONA??? And just where is this red-headed thief, the elusive Detective and Mr. Perry's RED SHIRT?????

She's had us fooled, or is this a frame? This reporter has had full faith in the aforementioned Diva and finds it difficult to believe that she would abscond with the entire wardrobe. Seeds of doubt have been planted, and without an update from the High Priestess, the seeds take root.

This is tylerslady reporting.....oh Good Evening Mr. Tyler, going down?????

sorry be back later!








tylerslady
7/2/01 8:04 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

Another clue to the mystery:



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kimboperry
7/2/01 4:03 PM
Joe Perry in GQ....UK Edition

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I just tried posting this but something went wrong so here goes again...sorry if it comes up twice. I just saw on the Rock This Way news page that the UK july edition of GQ magazine features axemen and what they wear. There is a pic of Joe Perry that I think would make those of us in the joeperrylustposse very happy. I wanna try to get a copy of this magazine...gonna see if I can get it ordered. I'm not sure if this pic is full size or not but if anybody out there in the UK can post back with more info please do! If its bigger, can someone scan it and maybe post it or email it? I'm sure I won't be the only one interested... :) kimbo

"..Behind the walls of my temptation, that's where it all began..."




kimboperry
7/2/01 4:12 PM
Re: Joe Perry in GQ....UK Edition

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Lounge/4204/

"..Behind the walls of my temptation, that's where it all began..."




Pope Diva I
7/2/01 4:25 PM
Re: Joe Perry in GQ....UK Edition

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Infinite Aero-Blessings on
ROCK THIS WAY!


All Hail ROCK THIS WAY!

Tammy, a.k.a. "Pope Diva I"
Pope-ette and High Priestess of
The Temple of Aerosmithicism




Pope Diva I
7/2/01 4:29 PM
Re: Joe Perry in GQ....UK Edition

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"That picture! AAAIIIIYYYYEEEEE!!!! Someone get me a doctor!" The Diva shouts, grabbing at her chest.

An urgent call goes out over the Aerosmith BBS:
"CODE BLUE ARMY! CODE BLUE ARMY!"

Dr.s Tyler, Perry, Whitford, Hamilton and Kramer rush into the room, and rip open The Diva's ill-gotten red silk shirt.

"Clear!" Dr. Perry shouts, rubbing defribillator paddles together in his calloused, masculine hands.

Dr. Perry, gazing lovingly down at his biggest fan, discharges the paddles into her chest.

The Diva's green eyes slowly flutter open...

"Joe! You saved me!" she says in wonder. "We're not done playing doctor yet, are we?"

"That depends," answers the good doctor. "Are you going to give me my red shirt back?"


Diva, my friend? Are you really guilty? Or are you being framed?




tylerslady
7/3/01 06:23 AM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

Things have been extremely quiet??? No Response from anyone on this?? Is the lust posse still holed up with the Boys??

Does anyone care if Joe gets his RED SHIRT BACK?




Pope Diva I
7/3/01 2:35 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Edit this post Reply to this message

See: BREAKING NEWS! Dershowitz and "Pie Guy" on Scene...

hehehehehe



Tammy, a.k.a. "Pope Diva I"
Pope-ette and High Priestess of
The Temple of Aerosmithicism


tylerslady
7/5/01 7:10 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Reply to this message

Bumping for a good ending!!!


tylerslady, for you I'm BEYOND easy!




Pope Diva I
7/13/01 11:37 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Tour Name Change Edit this post Reply to this message

BUMP FOR BREAKING NEWS

Tammy, a.k.a. "Pope Diva I"
Pope-ette and High Priestess of
The Temple of Aerosmithicism


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