First Time Users    |    Guidelines    |    Columbia Records    |    Web Feed    |    FAQ    



Forum Index | Edit Profile | New Users | Send Private | Check Private | Search | Logout | FAQ | Who's Online |

Previous ThreadView All ThreadsNext Thread**


Pope Diva I
7/1/01 7:27 PM
FAN FIC: Aerosmith a Cult?! Edit this post Reply to this message

Ispired by
"magictouch*'s thread,
Is it even POssible...................??
and AeroBoard member's responses to it


***SUNDAY IN-DEPTH FEATURE: THE BLUE ARMY***

Does Aerosmith Worship Constitute Cultish Behavior?
A Review of Aero-Cultism and Curtural Consequences
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Story Filed: Saturday, July 1, 2001 7:15 PM EST

BOSTON (Pope Diva I) -- Beginning in the 1970s, increasing numbers of individuals began to observe and report striking and frightening changes in their loved ones. Formerly serious, high-achieving, well-adjusted citizens would suddenly throw all other concerns and responsibilities by the wayside to devote themselves completely to the rock band Aerosmith and their music. Considered a temporary abberation by music critics and social scientists, Aerosmith worship was not immediately identified as a cult.

In many cases, individuals also worried about their loved ones' physical well-being because of the groups’ dietary, health, work, or sexual practices. Although conservatives obtained some literature denouncing Aerosmith's lifestyle and music, others had nowhere to turn and usually worried alone for long periods of time. Gradually, they began to find and help each other.

Occasionally, these individuals would find a mental health professional or clergyman who sincerely listened to their concerns. Individuals would usually voice such observations as: "That’s not my friend"; "He talks like a fanatic, as though he were programmed"; "He spends all his money on Aerosmith concerts and Aero-phernalia".

"She was fine, but now she seems like a different person"; "She used to like easy listening, but now all she listens to is Aerosmith, and at ear-splitting volume"; "She used to think clean-cut guys were attractive, but now she won't date anyone who doesn't look like [insert Aerosmith band member name]"; "Her closet is full of nothing but red silk shirts, black leather, drapey harlequin jumpsuits, scarves, cigars, and sex toys."

Soon, these concerned individuals and professionals realized that they were observing a process akin to what was popularly known as brainwashing. But they didn't know what to do. Their friends wouldn’t listen, or couldn't hear them over the blaring music. They sometimes succeeded in persuading their friends to listen to other bands, and the term "deprogramming" was used to describe the process of countering Aerosmith's unshakable hold over the lives and minds of their fans. These attempts at deprogramming never succeeded for long, however, as Aerosmith continued to release new material and to tour in support of it.

Seeing no other options, some individuals began to bring AeroFanatics to secure places, and to detain them there until they had listened to Lawrence Welk music played for hours on end. Frequently, these encounters lasted three days or more. The process appeared to be working. Hundreds of AeroFanatics renouced the band, promising to destroy their albums, and to never attend another show, or watch another video. In time, it became apparent that the cunning AeroCult members were only telling the deprogrammers what they wanted to hear, and were returning to their fanatical Aerosmith worship on-the-sly, just as quickly as they were released by their captors.

Many individuals, those who actually succeeded in having their loved ones deprogrammed, reported that their now-Aero-free friends seemed lifeless. AeroFanatics in recovery reported bitterly that they felt as though they were in a psychological prison.

Because deprogramming had come to be associated with coercion and confinement and because it rarely worked, it caused quite a controversy. AeroCultists railed against it, in large part because they hated Lawrence Welk music. Others denounced it on legal and ethical grounds. Others in the deprogramming movement defected and became devotees of the AeroCult, themselves. These defectors came to believe that Aerosmith were, in fact, gods -- just as the AeroCult members had always claimed.

Charges and countercharges were leveled between the deprogrammers and defectors from their ranks. Lawsuits arose from their battles. Judges and juries -- once Aerosmith's albums, concert footage, and videos were entered into evidence -- inevitably found for the defectors, and became AeroFanatics themselves.

AeroMania swept the globe, and institutions responsible for providing social services began to break down, as those in charge of these institutions abandoned their duties to follow their deities whenever they toured.

Aerosmith's critics, always the first to insist that devotion to Aerosmith must be cultish behavior run amok, eventually began to feel that they were in jeopardy if they continued to speak out. These critics also had to contend with the fact that their efforts to force AeroWorship underground had succeeded only in making the AeroCult members more numerous, more stubborn, and more devoted.

In time, it became apparent to Aerosmith critics and social scientists alike, that this was a cult that could not be broken. In an effort to reassure AeroCult members that they were no longer in danger of being deprived of their deities, the wider society made gestures of reconciliation and good faith.

Grammies, MTV music awards, Oscar nominations, a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, and -- most recently -- induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, were among the olive branches extended to the AeroCult by the uninitiated, and were all designed to bring the decades-old battle to a peaceful end.

AeroCult members, always happy and approachable when Aerosmith is touring, now seem philosophical about how they fit in in the wider society.

Tammy, a devoted AeroCult member since childhood, is willing to forgive and forget the ugly past; and even happily accepts that not everyone understands or approves of her belief system.

"Look," she said, "Everybody doesn't have to worship Aerosmith. We never said they did. In fact," she went on to say, "the less people who do, the more for me."

Tammy, who was interviewed as she sat in her Long Beach, California home amongst her beloved Aerosmith Collection, switched the CD's in her player and hit play on the VCR, obviously already growing tired of our short interview.

"More for me... I can DEFINITELY live with that."

--30--



Tammy, a.k.a. "Pope Diva I"
Pope-ette and High Priestess of
The Temple of Aerosmithicism


Dris27
7/1/01 8:08 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Aerosmith a Cult?! Reply to this message

Diva, you have done it again!!! I'm ROTFLMAO!!!


There's that red shirt again!


Pope Diva I
7/1/01 8:09 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Aerosmith a Cult?! Edit this post Reply to this message

Dris, you are too nice to me...

Thanks!

:)



Tammy, a.k.a. "Pope Diva I"
Pope-ette and High Priestess of
The Temple of Aerosmithicism


*magictouch*
7/1/01 8:21 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Aerosmith a Cult?! Reply to this message

I wrote it in the other post but..............****ALL HAIL DIVA!!!!!!!****




Pope Diva I
7/1/01 8:25 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Aerosmith a Cult?! Edit this post Reply to this message

Sacrilege!

Heresy!

Blasphemy!

NO NO NO NO NO!!!

ALL HAIL AEROSMITH!!!!



Tammy, a.k.a. "Pope Diva I"
Pope-ette and High Priestess of
The Temple of Aerosmithicism


tylerslady
7/1/01 8:27 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Aerosmith a Cult?! Reply to this message

Diva, take a bow!




Dris27
7/1/01 8:29 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Aerosmith a Cult?! Reply to this message

Yes...true!!! ALL HAIL AEROSMITH!!! But after them--ALL HAIL THE DIVA!!! LOL!

Diva, this one's for you...


There's that red shirt again!


Pope Diva I
7/1/01 8:31 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Aerosmith a Cult?! Edit this post Reply to this message

Thanks, tylerslady...

Dris, Dris, Dris... You are just CRUEL!!

How am I supposed to lead a normal life if you insist on keeping that siggie pic?

Huh?

How?



Tammy, a.k.a. "Pope Diva I"
Pope-ette and High Priestess of
The Temple of Aerosmithicism


Mad About Aero
7/1/01 8:37 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Aerosmith a Cult?! Reply to this message

ROTFLMAO!!!! Diva you are great!!! Too funny!!!





Dris27
7/1/01 8:38 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Aerosmith a Cult?! Reply to this message

LMAO Diva! Girl, no cruel intentions here! You know it's all love!!!


There's that red shirt again!


tylerslady
7/1/01 8:39 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Aerosmith a Cult?! Reply to this message

By the way Diva, don't you think that pic of you "ready to wango" should have a red shirt too?




Dris27
7/1/01 8:40 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Aerosmith a Cult?! Reply to this message

ROTFLMAO tylerslady!!! I think that's a great idea! How about it, Diva?


There's that red shirt again!


perrychick
7/1/01 8:44 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Aerosmith a Cult?! Reply to this message

He he!!! Diva, this is so funny!!! I, too, am an AeroCult member; I'm too far gone, even listening to Lawrence Welk for days at a time couldn't save me.... lmao


"I thought I knew me much better"





Pope Diva I
7/1/01 9:15 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Aerosmith a Cult?! Edit this post Reply to this message

Me in a red silk shirt?

Ya'll are trying to frame me! You all want to see me in the clink! You want the boys all to yourselves!

This isn't me!

This is clearly a doctored photo!

I want a lawyer!

SOMEBODY GET ME A LAWYER!!!!



Tammy, a.k.a. "Pope Diva I"
Pope-ette and High Priestess of
The Temple of Aerosmithicism


Dris27
7/1/01 9:18 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Aerosmith a Cult?! Reply to this message

OH MY GAWD!!! ROTFLMAO!!! Diva, you are TOO funny!!!


There's that red shirt again!


tylerslady
7/1/01 9:19 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Aerosmith a Cult?! Reply to this message

ROTFLMAO Diva, great pic! And absolutely not trying to frame you - we're in this together, sooner or later the DC Detective will solve the crime! Besides, you've got to be around for the Grand Opening of the Aero-Boutique!




Dris27
7/1/01 9:23 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Aerosmith a Cult?! Reply to this message

tylerslady has a good point! LOL!

He wants his shirt back...


There's that red shirt again!


NYaerogirl
7/1/01 10:06 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Aerosmith a Cult?! Reply to this message

*Tosses Roses*..clap clap clap...can u top that, Im sure you can...no pressure..




Dris27
7/1/01 10:07 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Aerosmith a Cult?! Reply to this message

LOL NY! Good to see you join in the fun!


There's that red shirt again!


Pope Diva I
7/2/01 04:45 AM
Re: FAN FIC: Aerosmith a Cult?! Edit this post Reply to this message

BUMP FOR CULT MEMBERS
RETURNING TO WORK (AND
THEIR DESTOPS PC'S)
ON MONDAY...


HELP! I'M BEING FRAMED!
SEND ALAN DERSHOWITZ!


Tammy, a.k.a. "Pope Diva I"
Pope-ette and High Priestess of
The Temple of Aerosmithicism


Pope Diva I
7/2/01 07:24 AM
Re: FAN FIC: Aerosmith a Cult?! Edit this post Reply to this message

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF AEROSMITHICISM
Received by Divine Revelation from a Burning Bush
(or somewhere in that general vicinity)
Transcribed by Pope Diva I


THE FIRST COMMANDMENT

We are Aerosmith, thy Gods, who brought thee out of the land of easy-listening, and delivered thee from the house of disco. Thou shalt not have strange bands before Us. Thou shalt not adore them, nor serve them: We are Aerosmith, thy Gods, heavy and sexy, visiting revelations upon men, and fantasies upon women, and showing mercy unto millions that love Us, by regularly creating new Works and Wonders, and pouring out Our Spirit upon the face of the whole earth.


THE SECOND COMMANDMENT

Thou shalt not commit the heresy of turning thine own ear away from Our New Works and Wonders; for Aerosmith will not hold him guiltless that shall harden his heart or ear against Us.


THE THIRD COMMANDMENT

Remember that thou keep all Concert Days holy. Many days shalt thou labour, and shalt thou do all thy works. But concert days shall be spent in worship of Aerosmith, thy Gods; thou shalt do no work on it, thou nor thy squeeze, nor thy companions, nor the stranger that is within hearing distance. For three decades Aerosmith hath made America's Greatest Rock and Roll Music, made women swoon, made men more manly, and thy worship in return is commanded.


THE FOURTH COMMANDMENT

Honour all members of Aerosmith, that thou mayest be sanctified in the bosom of the entire band, and that thou mayest have fellowship with other worshippers in a spirit of true peace and benevolence.


THE FIFTH COMMANDMENT

Thou shalt not sit still at any Aerosmith performance. Whether live or recorded; whether in stadium, arena, amphitheater, club or other venue; whether on television, on the radio, on digital or analog medium; whether audio, or audio and video; thou art commanded to either sing, dance, shout, scream, clap, whistle, hold thy lighters aloft, or make out heavily.


THE SIXTH COMMANDMENT

Thou shalt not perform before man, nor allow to be performed before man, lame-ass covers of Our Works and Wonders.


THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT

Thou shalt not allow thine own jealousy of Aerosmith, Thy Gods, to loose thy wicked tongue against Us. Getteth thee a life!


THE EIGHTH COMMANDMENT

Thou shalt not bear false witness against Aerosmith, thy Gods. Thou shalt not imply nor declare that We are no longer omnipotent. Thou shalt not commit the heresy of confusing chronological age with true age. Thou shalt not demand that thine own musical calcification be indulged by Aerosmith, thy Gods.


THE NINTH COMMANDMENT

Thou shalt honor the Scripture, which is Our Revelation -- Our Lyrics, Our Music, Our Spoken Words, Our Writings. Thou shalt not bow down before false music critics with pimply asses, nor ones who hath never seen a real-live woman naked.


THE TENTH COMMANDMENT

Thou art permitted to covet Our Talent, Our Bodies, Our Kick-Ass Lifestyle. Thou art permitted to lust after Us, and to fan these flames in thine own heart, and in the hearts of others. Thy desire is pleasing to Us, and thy devotion shall be rewarded by Us for all the days that thou rockest.


Amen.



Tammy, a.k.a. "Pope Diva I"
Pope-ette and High Priestess of
The Temple of Aerosmithicism


*magictouch*
7/2/01 09:27 AM
Re: FAN FIC: Aerosmith a Cult?! Reply to this message

Oh my Aerogods!! ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!




Pope Diva I
7/2/01 09:33 AM
Re: FAN FIC: Aerosmith a Cult?! Edit this post Reply to this message

Do you suppose that, while in flagrante delecto with Our Dieties, women moan, "Oh, You! Oh, You!"?

ROTFLMAO!!!!

OHMIPERRYSOMEBODYHELPMEGETMEADOCTOR!!!!

hehehehehe



Tammy, a.k.a. "Pope Diva I"
Pope-ette and High Priestess of
The Temple of Aerosmithicism


Tyler's Girl
7/2/01 10:58 AM
Re: FAN FIC: Aerosmith a Cult?! Reply to this message


Aerosmith fans, cult?

Hmmmmmmmmm..........I can live with that!

TG invisions a community, Aeroville, where members live/thirve Aero-style....

Hell, we could be a posse of wives meant to be shared.......lmao......

YES I CAN LIVE WITH THAT!!!!!!! Hell, we share now, kinda, lol......

"There's no substitute for arrogance" - Joe Perry


Pope Diva I
7/2/01 3:12 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Aerosmith a Cult?! Edit this post Reply to this message

I hadn't considered the polygamy question...

or the Barney-esque "caring is sharing" communal living arrangment angle...

Maybe it's time to put on some very loud Aerosmith music, and open myself to the Deities again, to see what they have to say on this important subject...

Hmmm...



Tammy, a.k.a. "Pope Diva I"
Pope-ette and High Priestess of
The Temple of Aerosmithicism


Dris27
7/2/01 5:07 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Aerosmith a Cult?! Reply to this message

DAMN! The Diva's killing me!!! Someone is gonna need to get ME a doctor pretty soon! LOL!


There's that red shirt again!


tylerslady
7/2/01 7:50 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Aerosmith a Cult?! Reply to this message

bump




Pope Diva I
7/13/01 11:33 PM
Re: FAN FIC: Aerosmith a Cult?! Edit this post Reply to this message

BUMP FOR AERONEWBIES
WITH A SENSE OF HUMOR

Tammy, a.k.a. "Pope Diva I"
Pope-ette and High Priestess of
The Temple of Aerosmithicism


Previous ThreadView All ThreadsNext Thread*Show in Threaded Mode








Contact Board Master