The Coup2K
Experience of
Samantha
“… we've been told that there
WAS no death. Isn't that how
torturers try to drive people insane –
by contradicting one's inner reality?”
Dear Diva:
RE "step #5" -- you are FAR from alone in the physical
symptoms; I have lost at least 20 pounds (not entirely a bad thing I have to
admit <LOL>) and my sleep patterns have become completely randomized -- I
think because for a while there, every time I dozed off, I'd wake up in yet another
weird alternate universe ("they're counting? they're not counting? they're
rioting? they're counting again?"...) and after two weeks of that I was
afraid to go to sleep at all! It's just as well I'm, ahem, "between gigs"
at the moment, or I certainly would be now. I still have dreadful raccoon eyes,
although at least now I look more like a pissed-off zombie than a newly-dug-up
zombie.
I was in a gyros shop at dinnertime on 12/09, and their TV was turned
to CNN (HN); the minute I saw Boies' ashen face, I knew something was terribly
wrong, just when I had been hopeful that at last the votes would be counted. I
swear, that's the closest I've ever come in my life to passing out. Needless to
say, I didn't get much of the gyros down. I'm still having odd moments when I
flash on what's happened and I can't eat, there's no room for anything but that
terrible betrayed feeling.
(scanning text: jeez, this is all about food, isn't it? wonder if the guys
are taking it this way... <LOL>)
The only thing that's kept me going has been the net. I was lucky
enough to stumble into the liberal-leaning nest of Salon's "white
house" board real early in this mess, and seeing other people just as sick
and outraged as I am has saved our TV from getting kicked in more than once. And
seeing the continuing explosion of sites like yours gives me hope that
together, if we know we're together, we might get through this somehow.
The best analogy I can draw, is that I
imagine this is what it might feel like to
suddenly lose someone you love to a
violent crime, only no one is grieving that
person's death with you, no one is looking for
that person's murderer, and people are telling
you to move on. -“The Diva”
Worse: we've been told that there WAS no death. Isn't that how
torturers try to drive people insane -- by contradicting one's inner reality?
But no matter how hard they want me to, I don't see five fingers, O'Brien... (And
damn, that's always been my favorite book, but I never wanted to be LIVING in
it...)
And you can post this if you like -- you can even use my real name, I agree;
why be this paranoid, they can't kill ALL of us, even if they try someone will
eventually notice. I like the "silence=fear" notion, deserves to be a
t-shirt...
BTW, RE "freeper singalong" -- LOL, if you're taking requests how 'bout 'Don't
Fear the Freeper'...? I wish I was a better filker, I get ideas and I can't
turn them into lyrics...